Thursday, August 14, 2008

Beginning Again

What’s eating me?
If you are reading this, you get it. I am overweight because I overeat. It is simple so why am I doing it and why am I making it difficult? I know what to do but for some masochistic reason I am complicating the problem, burying myself deeper in the hole becoming more and more overweight. I am quite sure that I labeled obese in many circles via medical or otherwise. I have seen the charts. My son’s are concerned about me. I worry about me. It is time I figure out what is eating me and address it so I can break this vicious cycle. I started this blog several days ago but never posted. I wanted to be genuine; I want to make it real. I have a lot going on in my life and at the top of the list is my weight gain as I know it is a creation of all of the many things on my list. This is where I sort it out, face myself, and begin again.
I am going to do it different this time. A little while ago, when I wanted to eat I was thinking about my weight. I was vacuuming and hoping my back would not begin to hurt and I was fighting the urge to take a break. Usually that is the beginning of the cycle of my overeating. Physical pain is only aspect of the cycle. I know my back hurts more because I am overweight. I planned my break so I would not run to the fridge. I drank about 32 oz of water and sat down to write this. I feel accomplished here in the moment and I know I will probably have to post again soon but at the present, it is time to get back at some much needed housework as it as this is a big day. Nothing too special I just have more to do than usual.

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