Deep sigh... I am having a difficult time pulling myself out this thing called depression. I call it a thing because I want to separate from it. It has hovering for a few weeks and now that I am physically feeling better, I find myself emotionally zapped. During the time my back was injured there were many things that I keep up on that had to go by the wayside, so my house is in need of a little TLC.
My back is feeling 100% better. The only way I know how to explain my back is to say that my lower back is unstable. It slips out and I am in pain and cannot bend over to do some of the other things that I usually take for granted. I injured it about 7 years ago and my life has certainly slowed down since then. If it was not for this computer, I am not sure what I would do to occupy my mind. Only so much TV a person can stand.
I like TV but I am getting sick of it. As I think about it, TV was not really a huge part of my adult life until I hurt my back a few years ago. Anyway…
What have I been doing?
I have played a lot of online poker since that did not require much thinking and I could sit and alternate heat and ice on my lower back. I am sick of poker right now too but that is only because it was mostly what I sat here doing.
I read 100s of blogs. Wow! There sure are a lot of interesting people sharing their lives.
I went to the chiropractor more times than I want to think about. Each time I would have some relief for a little while then my back would slip back out. It took several weeks to get it back place.
There was a flood in Ace’s garage. All of the contents of Max’s house are being stored there and unfortunately, the entire garage had to be emptied in order to reach the broken pipe. I had walked back to Ace’s for dinner, saw water under his truck, and thought his AC might be leaking fluid. I mentioned it to him and he assured me his truck is in A1 condition.
Later he walked over to my house to get something and when he got back to his place, he called me in a huge panic. “MOM, big problem. The whole garage is flooded.” Max came over and for almost 4 hours, we unloaded the garage. It was dark and I held the flashlights. Plumber came the next morning and fixed the pipe. PINTA.
Many boxes from my mother’s estate were also in Aces garage so I asked my sons to walk them to my garage so I could tend to them this year. I have avoided it for a long time and it does not seem to be going away. She was a major crafter and had 100s of books that I need to sort. Keep, eBay, recycle to library.
Ace got a ticket for parking in the alley in the middle of the night. I never knew it was against the law to park in the alley. We are going to fight it because of the flood.
My car has been at the body shop and I am driving a loaner. The loaner got a ticket from street sweepers because the code enforcement man could not see the handicapped placard that is in plain view. I hunted him down and he said he would make it go away. Still upset me for a while.
I was invited to be in the Posse this week. Seems like my alter ego, Sierra Dawn met up with the rest of the posse over at The Starr Ann Chronicles to fight off the bad men bloggers who are trying to shut down the lesbian bloggers.
I sat outside with Tess for a while today. The weather was almost early summer warm. We have been having hellacious winds and now a little heat spell. I told Tess that tomorrow I would work in the yard. Prune my roses and copper tree. I am not going to overdo it, but I know the opposite of depression is expression...so I am going to get busy.
Earlier today, I found this old book in my mother’s things and when I opened it, the picture at the top of this post caught my eye. The book was an old Magee Reader by Anna Magee of NYC. Copyright 1920. Ginn and Company. The illustration is by Ethel T. B. Baines and Eugenie M. Wireman. It predates Dick and Jane readers. I love to look at well-illustrated children’s books. This particular book also has a lot of fairies throughout, which surprised me for a school text book from back in the day. Old school for sure.
That is just a bird’s eye view of my unproductive week.
6 comments:
Glad your back is feeling better. I get depressed when I feel unable to get around, too. Inactivity is hard on the psyche. I need to start exercising again. Too cold, too dark, too, too, too. Heading to the local rec center tomorrow to sign up for at least the treadmill. Maybe if you can work in the yard it will help - sunshine is good for the soul.
Before I had surgery in October of 07, I had a herniated disc that left me practically mobile. For an obese woman, I had been fairly active. I walked every day, I traveled, and I enjoyed being outside. Being a slave to back pain was one of the hardest things I had to face. I watched TV all day long, because even sitting at the computer was painful for me. I became depressed, slept a lot, and watched sadly as my then-partner took Emily and the dog outside every night after work. I couldn't do anything, and it was very difficult for me. Now that I've lost weight, and I'm much more active, the slightest twinge from my back brings on anxiety - what if it happens again?
I meant that it left me practically "immobile." My coffee hasn't reached my brain yet :)
Who wouldn't feel depressed by being incapacitated like that?
Really glad your back's better, Rose.
Oh Rose, I am glad you are feeling better. Funny how a simple thing like mobility can get us down (or the lack of it). But honestly, I know how being "down" for the count can get you down. Take care of yourself.
Welcome back to better days. And to the posse. I might need some more Tylenol, have a good stock on hand?
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