Days Turn Into Weeks

The older we become the faster time seems to go by. I never seem to have enough time to do what needs to be done. Hours seem like minutes.

I never realized how busy I have become lately until I finally sit down to write something to add to my blog. I have time to read others blogs and leave comments but to finish a story seems almost impossible with all the other priorities I have. I have no less than five drafts about different things I wanted to share. I get so many interruptions and it could be hours before I get back to blogging. Sometimes I am just to tired to make much sense.

Tess had a couple of doctor’s appointments last week and with that came a slew of referrals. I am grateful that with this new insurance program she will finally get some of the medical assistance she so desperately needs. She is scared because she knows that means several different surgeries and months of physical therapy. As I know more about what she is facing I will post about it.

I went to the gym five times this past week. I made a commitment to myself to loose 50 lbs in six months. My eating is out of control and I am not practicing any kind of will power. Luckily, I don’t buy sweets but I still eat too much. I am hoping that I quit self-sabotaging really sucks. I have really only dieted once in my life and although I was successful I did it with a special friend and this time I am on my own. I am struggling and so Curves is where I am beginning to feel supported.

My caregivers support group is over this next week. It was a small group of only nine participants. The facilitators were well prepared with tips on how to take care of ourselves while we are care giving. It is not uncommon for caregivers to put themselves last. The facilitators always brought the focus back on us and off the loved one we are taking care of. The group members made a weekly individual action plan and were accountable the next week for what we planned for ourselves. Several weeks my plan was to exercise. I am concerned I will not be as committed since I won’t have the group. All I can think of is to be accountable here.

My personal therapy is a good reminder to do things that bring me joy. Most Friday evening I go to dinner with my long time best friend. That brings me joy. Okay, sometimes it is bittersweet because I wish Tess were able to go out occasionally. I love going out with my BFF and Tess wants me to do anything I can to enjoy myself. One day I will write about my BFF and if she gives me permission, I will tell her story of family abandonment because of her sexuality.

I took Tess to a nice lunch after one of her doctor’s appointments. I am not sure she even enjoyed one minute of it, as it was such a fiasco getting her in and out of the car and using the bathroom. Most movement triggers her pain. On top of that, the whole thing is so reminiscent of my mother’s failing health that it is eerie for me at times. Before my mother died, she was in a lot of pain when she walked too. When I take Tess out she uses a wheel chair, at home she uses a walker.

I feel like I just babbled but I wanted to write something before another week comes and goes.

Be good to yourself.

Yes We Can!

Rose